LOVE
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Anywhere But Here
beverley91

 



Already Gone
beverley91

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories, they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye
Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hold you
Now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
Someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry
Started with a perfect kiss
Then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so
I love you enough to let you go


 

Another awesome yet emo song for you guys.

6am and i still can't sleep. Idk what's wrong. Ever since that day, nothing has been going right for me. Lost appetite for everything even though I'm starving, i just don't feel like touching food. Crying in the night to sleep, always trying my best to kick away those unwanted thoughts in my mind. I haven't been sleeping well for a few days and this really sucks. I really wish i could turn back time, so that things won't happen, things won't be this way now.
My heart's bleeding profusely, srsly never felt so painful before. Okay maybe i did felt so so painful before but it was very long ago and now I'm feeling the pain again. Things won't be right anymore, things won't be the same anymore.
Everything changes, everything is different, including myself. I won't be the same anymore. Tell me, what should i do to make myself feel better? Because I've run out of ideas. I tried different ways and methods but nothings helping.

Tell me how to save myself from all these heartaches, from all these painful tears, from all these nightmares. Tell me how to forget things that you don't wanna remember, tell me how to put things aside and live like you never lived before. It's as though my heart stopped beating like what happened in the past. I wanna sleep, i need my sleep, i need to take a break, i need to rest but I JUST COULDN'T DO IT.
I have so many questions on my mind and i know that i will never find the answer for these questions.

Love kills.


Let's try
beverley91



I'm doing great ! (Y)
Intend to nua at home but when tavis asked me out for dinner, i was so happy cause i almost die of boredom at home until i even had 2 hours of afternoon nap. HAHA. Went to tamp and surprise Sab cause she thought i wasn't going to find her. She look so shocked, aye what to do ? I'm like the sweetest lover anyone can ever get. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay i dowan my head to grow bigger.
Ker and Jer joined us, we waited for tavis @ central. Had dinner and then we went to slack at Starbugs. :D I kinda miss starbugs. Camwhore a lot and more photos are on facebook ! (:

Oh and we went arcade to play some games, one game is throw those mini balls, FUCKING fun especially you play with more people. Hahaha. Played basketball also and then my hand shag already, like my hand shivering a little alrdy. Hahaha. It's just so nice to see other brothers treating their younger sister so well. ENVY~~~~ Fuck my brother srsly. But why he so handsome?! Okay i should shutup. HAHAHAHA.
Accident was cancelled cause heard it's not nice. Fame's on Thursday and I'm expecting a big group to appear on that day. (Y)(Y). I think i gotta suffer because i believe there will be a lot a lot of photos on that day. But I'm still loving my profile picture and my display picture! Hahahaha.
When you have crazy friends, you just can't help but slowly becoming crazy too. HAHAHAHA.
Tomorrow let's nua at home ! I wanna sleep till i die. xD

Goodnight!

Haunted Memories
beverley91

You will never know what's beyond the hole until you grab your courage and jump in.
Now I've jumped in and i realized it's more difficult for me to get out.
I use to think blogging is an amazing thing it's like an online diary where you can pour and rant every single stupid shit you wanna say but slowly, I'm starting to hate to blog, bit by bit I'm just starting to hate. Seems like even blog can start a fire.

It's like I'm so confused now that sometimes i blog i don't even know whether to lock the posts. I too wanna be open, but i just trying to prevent unwanted comments. Sigh, just didn't know it could cause unwanted things to start.
I guess i gotta apologise to someone. & i think the person know who he/she is for certain reasons that i don't feel comfortable saying out. See, now is like i cannot even say things that i wanna say.
I think i might open a private blog and leave this livejournal alone.

I'm sorry friends, especially Sabrina. I guess i understand what you mean when you heard me crying on the phone and you felt like crying too. Thank you so much for the concern and love you're giving me. I guess there are friends that are really concern about how happy are you, and they will never ever wanna see the friend they love to get hurt or even get upset. Thanks peeps. (:
That's the difference. Friends seldom make you cry unless it's something big.


Can't get to sleep at this timing, searching and listening to r&b songs to make myself feel better. I'm like mentally tired but not physically.
Where has the trust gone to? I need the trust, i need to believe once again. But it ain't easy. It's like one of the most difficult thing to do in my life.
I told Sabrina, I'll be happy for this whole week and I'll do it. I believe i could do it with the help of my friends. Watching Accident and Fame soon ! :D Can't wait.

Sometimes the more you expect, the greater the disappointment.
I love learning things in life because it helps you to think, maturely, it helps you to experience things and you learn from it. But who love to learn things the difficult and tough way ? No one does, but there's isn't any choices for you to choose.
I hate sentences and words that contradicts themselves.
Love can't be describe with words.
But if you can't even say out the reason why you love the person then are you really in love ?
And many more stupid examples. & now i know that such sentences are just for references. Just for idiots to google it and put it sweeswee on their status or whatever.
Now i believe in real-life experience. Hands-on experiences.
No matter how difficult it is, no matter how fucking tough it is, no matter how fucking pain it is, i know i'll get through everything.
I have to be strong in order to continue to survive in this fucking game of life.

This is LIFE.
Sorry but I'm done with emo-ing. This whole week is gonna be awesome baby i swear.
I'll update you guys if there's any changes with the blog or whatever shit la. !@!(#$!)$!)!*$!()$!)@)!$!)@!)%*%!$(!(@ ok now im really done. BYE!

I believed
beverley91


I very very lazy update photos. Just go view from my facebook alright ! Hahaha. It has been how long since I've updated !? Anyone missed me?! HAHA.

Let's start off first thing.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JEWEL ONG!!! MY CUTEST GIRLFRIEND EVER! :D

Thurs to Saturday stayed over babe's house. Thursday went singing with clique and it was so fun that after singing our throat went dry. & it's so cheap! After that went to have katong laksa for the first time. I think ALRIGHT la, not THAT nice anyw. Hahaha I think I'm weird. Went home to get my stuff and went over to babe's house. Ran in the middle of night, about 2 km, for 14mins. I fucking shag after that.
Srsly i think it's worse than having sex. HAHAHA.
Went to have supper but i ate porridge so my effort won't be wasted. :D what a smart girl. HAHA.
Went back and bathed, slept.

Next day we just nua-ed the whole day and went out for dinner at night. Played scrabble at home also, cock i lost to him. V sian. HAHA.
Saturday slept till afternoon and then went out for late lunch, desert then went to meet Stella tavis and her friends.

We played at Tampines CC, i guess that night will be an unforgettable night srsly. We went to the rooftop. Me & Stella got quite high.
Played old maid using poker cards, laughed like mad kids cause of the stupid forfeits that we thought of. Then we played another game is like whacking game. Wtf that game is fucking sick. Kena whack until my leg look like it just poured by boiling water. LOL. Internal bleeding.
Then we played till 11plus, forgot about the timing, went down and realize all the gates are locked. So we walked a few rounds finding places to get out, in the end we found opened windows so we actually climbed out of those windows. HAHAHAHA. Fucking fun.

I don't even feel like mentioning anythg about today.
Photos are on facebook, met tavis keith and stella at Tamp today, slacked at a new rooftop and it's so fucking shiok over there. :D Camwhored and it was fun. (:

Awesome song for you guys.


Tell me what's it gonna be this time,
Say that I was just a fool to believe u were mine,
Cannot imagine life without u by my side,
And it's killing my heart,
Cuz I wish I knew why,
Why would u do me this way,
When I love u,
Baby,

I believed what u said,
But love doesn't have a meaning,
When u hurt me so bad,
Just threw it all away,
U knew I was scared,
To once more let u get that close to me,
Despite what u did I believed
,

U said it was gonna be for real this time,
U said u were gonna make it up to me,
And everything will be fine
,
Never thought that I would have to let u go this way,
Should've followed my heart,
But I fell for the game,
Life just would not be the same without u,
Baby,

Now what do I say,
It was u,
U that made that choice to walk away,
But now,
Love will come my way,
Again,
I don't wanna hear ya sorry,
Cuz u know we have reached the end
,

Ha... I believed...


Morning Arise
beverley91

Good things always have to come to an end. & how we wished good times, good things could actually last longer than we've expected.
I woke up in the morning and there are crazy thoughts in my mind.

Monday we went out to slack and we didn't catch the movie gamer afterall. Hahah. Went over to babe's house to ton. Aye somehow i wish my aircon is as cooling as his. Hahah.
Yesterday went to school for proj and just when i reached school they told me actually there's isn't any need to start now, we can start when school reopens. Wtf. Went to T1 instead find Geok's friend and then we went off after a short while.

Humans are naturally selfish.
Once bitten twice shy and u can't blame me for having my own guys theory cause I'm sort of 16 bitten 32times shy? HAHA.
& also hearing of similar stories from surrounding, definitely i won't have any good impression or nice theories for guys.
Somehow it's wrong for me to categorize you among all those guys but i just can't help myself.
I can feel, i seriously can feel that things are getting different now, I'm slowly turning towards you, I'm relying/depending on you, and the feeling of relying on someone sucks.
Help me, save me from all these stupid thoughts of mine.


Alright I'm leaving house. Goodbye!

(no subject)
beverley91
Watch ugly truth today! (Y) i think it's a good show, dirty talk i still can take it but dirty movements i cannot, i will shy. HAHAHHAHAA.
But overall, it's a v nice show, romance and comedy, my favourite. (Y)
Thanks babe for the gifts and everything, I'm thinking of a way to save money faster so i can return him the money for the shoes and slippers =/  sigh sometimes i wonder why i can't be like normal and common girls when they just so happy, go crazy when their bf buy gifts for them. But i just feel guilty, feel heartpain for wasting his money. Zzzzz. I suck srsly.
Everyone around me just say I'm sick and i think now i have to agree with them.

After movie, went to walk around a bit and then went home to bath, i just feel so sticky all over after sweating cause of the stupid weather. Bought dinner and went to ker's house to watch man utd match. How exciting at the last moment ! I shouted too cause it's really too awesome. Ker just don't know how to appreciate properly. HAHA.

After that babe went home for his mj session.
I went down Tmart to slack with ker and jer. Called tavis ask him hurry up cause he like crawling. We slack slack and then ter, sean they all join us. :D
After a while me and tavis gotta go off to catch our last bus. Walked home and his last bus came, so he ran across and jumped over the fence. Tokkong. HAHAHAHA.
Reached home and.. now i have nothing to do.
Maybe i'll catch GG since the guys and the babes are so damn hot in there. LOL!

Goodnight! Movie- Gamer tomorrow with sab and the rest ! I miss sab! >.<

& KER SEND ME THOSE PHOTOS! HAHA

Babe's back
beverley91

HELLO!!!!
Guess what?!?!
Babe's back !!! Like FINALLY!!!! Seeing him coming out i just smiled to myself like a kid seeing their favourite toy placed in front of them. Hahah. Gave him the domokuns and glad that he likes it. (:
Ate dinner and slacked a while talking and everythg. Hahah.
I went off, met Tavis @ tamp, bought small present for my cousin, accompany him to eat then i went off to my cousin's house.
SHE'S BLOODY HELL CUTE! Her actions damn cute, the way she talk very funny and she just damn nice to disturb. Hahah.
Went to meet Stella,Keith and their friends @ mac.
Went to pavilion but the lights are off so we slacked at the voiddeck. Hahah.

Tonight's quite boring uh. Hahah.

Goodnight! I'll be meeting babe tomorrow and wonder if K will be cancelled or not. =/
I love his hug, it's like a drug to me.

Pizzahut
beverley91


Today suppose to sing but cancelled cause it was full so i booked Sunday instead. Let's hope everyone will be able to make it alright. (:
Went to pizzahut today with sab, ker and tavis. Had our lunch and it was raining heavily. After that walked around tampines 1, tavis and ker bought slippers and i bought a small little present for my mum and also finally bought my facial cleanser. =/
Slacked at starbugs for a little while.


Went off to meet my parents and had dinner at crystal jade. -.-
Went off to buy my speakers and i spent like 30mins or lesser figuring out how the wires work. _l_
Now my bass damn shiok. Hahah.
Anyway gonna do things to distract some unwanted thinkings.

Ray's cute. ;)
Goodnight.


A day well spent
beverley91





Yooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wheeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happyhappyhappyhappy! Hahah.
Went out today with friends ! Actually i overslept today so didn't had lunch at home. Met Tavis first, then ker then we trained to Cityhall, walked to peninsula and walked around there to see whether anything's new over there. =/
Walked to Clarke Quay, ate Bak kut teh for lunch with them and it was good (Y). Went central to look for Sab awhile, ter joined and then he went to have his lunch at this new open restaurant. Haha. Then we slacked, chat a while Sab went back to work.
We just walked to opposite Central @ Tcc there, have some coffee, slack and chit chat until night.
Cabbed to Simpang Bedok and have our dinner there and went home after Vanessa joined us not long later. Hahah.


Tomorrow's singing cancelled cause it was full. Awww man, but tomorrow we'll be having pizza for lunch, maybe movie? Idk but slacking till evening and i have to be home to celebrate my mum's birthday! Woooooooo!! Finally, get to spend some time with her. :D :D :D

Goodnight!
On the cab, i had a lot of thoughts on my mind but mainly is about my bunch of siao kias. LOL.
I really think, my life will be a bore without them. They are just play such an important part in my life that i don't think that i would ever wanna lose them. They were there for me throughout all the shits I've been through and I'm so grateful about that.
No one or nothing can actually make me drift away or even have the thought of drifting away from them. (:
I love you guys!
But i gotta say thanks Tavis, really. These few days you've been listening to all the bullshits i have to say and you never even complained, but thanks for accompanying me throughout this time when i was so bored and have totally nothing to do. Hahah. Although now you've become more kaopeh and guailan, but it's a better improvement compared to the past. (:
Now you're so much more fun to hang out with ! :D Keep it up alright ! Just don't exceed the limit. HAHA but i doubt you will either.


Nothing's impossible for the one i love.

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